Am I abused?
YES - if your partner has done any of
these things to you:
1. Physical
- pushed or shoved
you
- held you to keep you from
leaving
- slapped or bitten
you
- kicked or choked
you
- hit or punched you
- thrown objects at
you
- locked you out of the
house
- abandoned you in
dangerous places
- refused you help when you
were ill, injured or pregnant
- subjected you to reckless
driving
- raped you
- threatened or hurt you
with a weapon
- withheld money for
food
- tried to hold you
prisoner in your own home
2. Sexual
- told anti-woman jokes or
made demeaning remarks about women
- treated women as sex
objects
- been jealously angry,
assuming you would have sex with any available man
- insisted you dress in a
more sexual way than you wanted
- minimised the importance
of your feelings about sex
- criticised you
sexually
- insisted on unwanted and
uncomfortable touching
- withheld sex and
affection
- called you sexual names
like 'slag', 'frigid'
- forced you to strip when
you didn't want to
- publicly showed sexual
interest in other women
- had affairs with other
women after agreeing to be faithful to you
- forced sex with him or
others or forced you to watch with others
- forced particular
unwanted sexual acts
- forced sex after physical
assault
- forced sex when you were
ill or when it was a danger to your health
- forced sex for the
purposes of hurting you with objects or weapons
- committed sadistic sexual
acts
3. Emotional
- ignored your
feelings
- ridiculed or insulted
women as a group
- ridiculed or insulted
your most valued beliefs, your political or religious view, race,
background or class
- withheld approval,
appreciation or affection as punishment
- continually criticised
you, called you names, shouted at you
- insulted or driven away
your friends or family
- humiliated you in private
or public
- refused to take you out
socially
- kept you from working,
controlled your money, made all decisions
- refused to work or share
money
- taken car keys or money
away
- regularly threatened to
leave or told you to leave
- threatened to hurt you or
your family
- punished or deprived the
children when he was angry with you
- threatened to kidnap the
children if you left him
- abused pets to hurt
you
- told you about his
affairs
- harassed you about
affairs he imagined you were having
- manipulated you with lies
and contradictions
Taken from 'Getting Free: A
Handbook for Women in Abusive Situations' by Ginny NiCarthy (edited
and adapted by Jane Hutt) Journeyman Press (1990)